I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving us the Star Wars Trilogy, and along with it all the novels, games, action figures, and toys that have brought us endless hours of entertainment.
That being said I'd like to have a word with you about these "Prequels." Like most star wars geeks I stood outside theaters for hours before the tickets went on sale just to be assured my seat, and waited in line with countless other fans, for what would be a momentous occasion in our lives.
For the past few years however, I've been trying to reconcile my love for Star Wars and the "Prequels."
I think I have a solution. In the late 90's you released the Star Wars Trilogy Special Edition. I think given the current CGI technology that it would be possible to release the Prequel Special Edition in a couple more years. I know that your die-hard fan base would be most appreciative.
If you decide to do this, and thousands of fans are hoping you will, please keep the following things in mind...
1. Genocide should never be considered an "acceptable alternative" to a species...*ahem* Gungans
2. One of the main characters should not be a cradle robbing pedophile...Padme
3. Hayden Christensen + wet paper bag = wet trapped Hayden Christensen
4. Dialog that competes with Limburger for odor and cheese status should not be included..." We will have to settle this with light sabers." Seriously? Just shut up and fight.
5. Don't immediately kill off the good characters ie. Darth Maul , Qui Gon Jinn
6. Our beloved little green Jedi Master with a limp and cane should at no point turn into a Mexican jumping bean with a glow stick.
7. There are enough vocal effects processors on the market that aliens need not sound like nasal Asians.
8. Symbiotic beings in the blood that enable one to use the Force...That's the best you got?
9. Virgin birth...been there done that, billions of t-shirts have already been printed.
10. H+O2=H2O; Hayden Christensen + Natalie Portman = no chemistry
These are a few of the things to keep in mind when making the Prequel Special Editions. I'm sure if you look close enough you will be able to find a few more. Maybe you could even do something unheard of and ask the Fans.
Sincerely,
Havok
P.S. When it comes to Indiana Jones leave the aliens in Star Wars, and the only thing that is coming out of a refrigerator after a nuclear explosion is goo.
